when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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