GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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