The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
