I feel like abortions should bother me more
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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