You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think I died a long time ago.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
