I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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