Kiss
Puke
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
