my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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