So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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