Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
