I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His hands were made for my vagina.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
