we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Randomize
