I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
