this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
