But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
