I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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