I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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