I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
