lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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