Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
