The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
