Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
