You can't motorboat a personality
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
