No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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