Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
