you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
