Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My vagina is officially offended.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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