Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
