how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That accounts for only three of the penises
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
