My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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