I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
