My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
