Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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