don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
