I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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