Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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