i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
