In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We are two peas in an std pod
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
