You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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