Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize