I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
