We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
