I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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