i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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