JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she looked like the before picture.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize