We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize