their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had sex on a roof
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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