he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
a search helicopter?!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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