everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
