How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
