i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
