I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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