I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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