Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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