Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
