Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Everything about him screamed your future.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
