hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All I want is dick and wine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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