I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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