Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
