Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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