Screwed.edu
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just pee around me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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