I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
