C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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