Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
